Wanna look like you got stuck head-first in a spider web?

Here you go!

Newjers_medium

All Pro-Combat images after the jump...

The rest of the new uni isn't so bad (mercifully, it's got leg stripes! and that belt buckle's titanium!):

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   Picture_7_medium Picture_8_medium

 

But: body fat a little over 8%? You can enjoy the stylings of a 90-year-old tennis pro:

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Or be sponsored by Sesame Street and the largest letter U:

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Is it me? Can I get Nina Garcia in here? Perhaps I'm just still in a bad mood, but, I dunno, Nike, can we get some gold chains or something?

Images from AllCanes, of course. Spend money there. Just maybe not on those t-shirts.

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