Welcome to The 7th Floor, where we pledge to cover Miami Hurricanes football with mountains of coke the appropriate amounts of questionable taste and blind devotion, guided only by the bare minimum of our contractual obligations. We are The Great Barstoolio and Lt. Winslow, your trustworthy (either of us would roofie Ken Dorsey in a heartbeat) guides.

This is pretty much how this is gonna play out: we'll come from nowhere to wreak havoc and instill a healthy sense of fear across the sports internets, win a legendary five College Football Blogger Awards over the next twenty years, and then implode in equally spectacular fashion in the form of a "rebuilding year" every year for like seven consecutive years. Sound familiar? Strap in.

While, in keeping with the spirit of our beloved program, pretty much anything goes around here, there is but one all-important rule: bring a sense of humor, or we will poop in your closet.