While scouring internet for a picture of Ryan Braun, because he turned down The Bachelorship, my eyes unfortunately went from this:
OOOH THE GRIM REAPER IN A SWIRL OF OLD LADY FLORAL COUCH COLORS.
That almost makes me forget you're a baseball player, who appears to wax his entire body IN WISCONSIN. Is this like the Ed Hardy Phantom of Darkness line?
No. Worse, actually, if such a thing is possible.
It's called "Affliction," and purports to be "set[ing] the bar high in fashion" thanks to the collection's "indulgence of style and design, focus on quality, and its trademark series of divinely executed, dark and powerful themes. Affliction is a mainstay for the most elite athletes, heaviest bands, A-listers and the fashion conscious worldwide."
Oh, so you mean like "assholes." We'll look for you on the runways in Paris, Affliction.
As for you, Braun, we love you, honey. We think you're a terrific boy. But you have clothes like a fucking dickhead.