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Jeff Stoutland Draws Shot At Glory

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Miami will play Notre Dame in the Sun Bowl. As Holly Anderson put it, "I tried to say this politely, but I really want to see Miami fans attempt to sell Notre Dame fans into white slavery in Juarez. That doesn't make me a bad person."

Guys, we our mission is two-fold: not be total shit in a bowl game for once, and immediately undertake America's Mission®.

[Moments later]

America's Mission® has failed due to nary a Miami fan planning to attend this game. Plan B is a nice guacamole.