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Confirmed: Seantrel Henderson Arrives August 3

We assume wearing only a giant bow and a tag that reads "To: Lt. Winslow."

The New York Times is under the impression they scooped this, but kudos are due one magic barber. You already know.

Seantrel Henderson, a prized offensive lineman considered by most analysts to be the nation’s top high school football recruit, and his father, Sean, said on Friday afternoon that he would attend the University of Miami in the fall.

...Henderson is a 6-foot-8, 340-pound left tackle from Cretin-Derham Hall High School in St. Paul, Minn. and had been recruited by just about every major college football program in the country. Immediately, he becomes the prize of a Hurricanes recruiting class that had already been ranked No. 14 by and No. 16 by

He will arrive at Miami on Aug. 3 and is already academically eligible for the upcoming season, Sean Henderson said.

So, to recap, that's two five-star athletes Randy nabbed AFTER signing day. The man sleeps with one eye open, and not just because his entire family is dead and he's haunted by a terrible childhood.