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The Connect Vomits Into a Tire

Sam Shields has won a Super Bowl as a starting rookie corner. Naturally, this included a familiar flub on special teams, but it still counts. Congrats are also due to Winston Moss and Alonzo Highsmith, both part of the Packers organization. Best of all, with Aaron Rodgers triumphing over Ben Roethlisberger, everyone is now un-raped. Hooray, Sam!

(You can insert your player development huffery here, but even Shields' dad excuses Randy Shannon in this case, telling Barry Jackson "Randy tried,” but that "Randy and Wesley McGriff didn’t have enough time.” He does, however, think Randy's doghouse can suck it.)

Word from Barry Jackson is that players are responding very well to Al Golden's energetic program re-vamp -- at least when they aren't puking during workouts.

Under Golden’s orders to strength and conditioning coach Andreu Swasey, workouts are longer, more intense, and the weights are heavier....Seantrel Henderson, Curtis Porter, Luther Robinson and others vomited initially.

“We’re flipping tires, pulling weights on a sled, different things,” Washington said. “This is the Andreu Swasey from 2001, from the national championship team. He was reading notes he had from ’02, ’03. That’s what we needed. We should have done this last year.”

Wait, you mean, the guy just hadn't read his notes for the past four years? How silly! Jackson also grabs details of Golden's rulebook, which includes the usual: eat breakfast, sit in the front row of class, don't wear earrings or hats in class, be five minutes early, curse less, and spoon the lady afterward for the appropriate amount of time.

Tolbert Bain, a starting corner on Miami's 1987 national championship team and recipient of 7th Floor's Lost Wu-Tang Memberiest Award for his appearance in The U, has been sentenced to 41 months in federal prison for possession and intent to distribute heroin. Apparently he is actually the Tolbert Bainiest.

Texas remains Miami's bitch even when Miami inexplicably wears a Virginia Tech helmet.