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Parsing Today's Bounty of Nevin Shapiro News


Last night's late-breaking news, discovered by Steve Gorten of the Sun-Sentinel, is that Nevin Shapiro called Houston Nutt multiple times in December of 2006 to discuss Miami's open head coaching job, a position that eventually went to Randy Shannon. This adds another level of self-parody to an already incredibly parodic story, but it is not yet known, and might never be known, whether or not Shapiro contacted Nutt in the good graces of Miami's athletic department. Regardless, it's troubling, and more deeply, it shows that Miami officials were either so lax in policing Shapiro, or so buddy-buddy with him, that he felt like he could act on behalf of the university. Now, Shapiro is a massive egomaniac, so it's quite possible that he grossly overstepped his boundaries with this move, but that doesn't seem to the be case. ALSO YOU TRIED TO HIRE HOUSTON NUTT?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? YOU WERE THE WORST AT DOING EVERYTHING. I hope that when Shapiro is up for parole for the first time, the judge refuses to grant his freedom and says, "You once went on a rogue mission to hire Houston Nutt. Denied." And, by the way, is there anything more Houston Nutt than Houston Nutt being roped into this story? The whole thing somehow both defies AND defines logic.

Donna Shalala released a statement. Most of it is typical, boilerplate bullshit, but Shalala does note that Miami is reviewing the eligibility of 15 current student-athletes. The important thing here, again as noted by Gorten, is that the original Yahoo! report only implicated 13 current Miami athletes (12 football players, plus basketball's DeQuan Jones), so it seems as if Miami has independently discovered potential violations by two other athletes. We will likely find out soon enough who those two players are, but everyone in Randy Shannon's flagship 2008 class (including foremost leftover members from Northwestern High School) could potentially be implicated. Or maybe it was a horrible Freudian slip.

Remember when everyone was wondering how exactly every non-Hurricane implicated in the investigation has been cleared to play next season? Well, Charles Robinson, in an interview with "Yahoo Radio", might have the answer. According to Canesport, Robinson intimated in said interview that players like Robert Marve and Arthur and Bryce Brown were awarded full eligibility in return for their "testimony" on any illegal contact or benefits that they received while at, or in contact, with Miami. This sounds preposterously insane, though time will tell if it's actually nonsense or not. But, at the moment, it seems like as good an explanation as any as for why those guys have been given the all clear.

UPDATE: Conquest Chronicles points out a post by CBS's Dennis Dodd, that goes into a bit of detail on the NCAA's "limited immunity" clause. Basically what this means is exactly what Robinson outlined: the NCAA may grant you immunity in return for information on a scandal that they're investigating. Now, Julie Roe Lach, NCAA vice president of enforcement, who was interviewed by Dodd, did not specifically cite the Miami case, but there seems to be no other explanation, and a source indicated to Dodd that limited liability was granted in this instance. Roe Lach also said that the NCAA would not pursue a player that took potentially illegal benefits at a school that he or she did not sign with, which is a delicious slice of "make it up as you go along," and one that echoes their baffling ruling in the Cam Newton case. She also said that players "can't transfer to escape a penalty," which is not precisely what Marve and Arthur Brown did, but it's certainly in the same universe, and is distinctly different than players like Bryce Brown or Andre Debose that never signed with Miami in the first place. Also, what exactly is "limited" about the "immunity" of said players is an absolute mystery to me, but that's a discussion for another time.

Miami has hired renowned lawyer and infractions expert Mike Glazier to assist them in dealing with the NCAA's investigation. Glazier has worked extensively with schools in such situations in the past— most recently he was hired by Oregon in the wake of the Willie Lyles scandal.

A word on this horrible t-shirt, which I was going to cover this weekend, but let slide until Dr. Saturday picked the story up: Don't buy this stupid thing. For one, don't go around perpetuating anti-snitching, which is a dangerous and childish campaign to begin with. We should be angry with Shaprio not because he squealed, but because he put a university that he supposedly "loved" into grave danger so he could feel like an important and popular person. Secondly, "talking like bitches" is a gross and sexist phrase that any adult should feel shameful for saying, let alone for wearing on a t-shirt. Lastly, the shirt is outright thuggish. If you're an actual, literal thug, you probably shouldn't be advertising your work with the clothes you wear. If you're not an actual, literal thug, don't be a fool that pretends to be violent when they would do no such thing. And if you would wear the shirt ironically, you're a jackass. The shirt merely perpetuates the false, macho bullshit that fueled Shapiro's arrogance. Death to that.