Hurricanes StatMilk Breakdown: Thursday Night in Chapel Hill

As Hurricanes fans we've become accustomed to tossing out our favorite statistics. We do so because we want to convince ourselves that Miami's defense has drastically improved, because we want to provide naysayers with meaningful numbers to illustrate how Duke Johnson is simply better than you, and we do so this year in particular because, unlike past years, Miami Hurricanes statistics are actually worth bragging about.

So while we commandeer StatMilk's elegant display of numbers and things, rest assured that we only do so out of the goodness of our hearts. We also strongly advise you to find the nearest UNC fan and vehemently penetrate their weak mind with the useless statistics we'll be providing.

OFFENSE

Last week our offense featured a heavy dose of run plays that served to effectively set up the big plays downfield with the passing game. Thank you, James Coley. Stephen Morris should be "full go" for the showdown Thursday night, but even crippled he's been effective. North Carolina had trouble covering the passing game last week and Logan Thomas exposed those weaknesses. Please take a minute to absorb that last sentence. Our offense looks poised to cause some damage in Chapel Hill but it's far too easy to show up overly optimistic for this game. Records aside, North Carolina is a tough opponent and will surely make this a fight.

DEFENSE

Weird, huh? Miami brings some great statistics to the table but our rush defense woes still remain, somewhat. Fortunately, the run game isn't North Carolina's forte. Though, with Fedora's offensive scheme the rushing attack is still a concern for Miami. UNC favors those obnoxious pistol/shotgun ‘fake handoff to this guy, run that way, throw it maybe, run most likely' kind of plays that are sure to piss off Hurricanes fans. This strategy was even more prevalent last week against Virginia Tech due to Bryn Renner's absence from the lineup. With Renner sidelined, quarterback Marquise Williams was tasked with leading the Tar Heels and fared reasonably well in the first start of his collegiate career, especially against a highly-touted Hokie defense. However, the general consensus between individuals not inside the UNC huddle is that Bryn Renner will get the nod on Thursday. This creates a much different scenario for the 2013 Miami squad: a team that uses a passing game. It'll be interesting to see the Hurricanes defense go toe to toe with a team that doesn't favor the run for the first time this year.

What's to be expected? I don't know. Who the hell do you think I am? Will Tyriq McCord cause a quarterback to experience an involuntary loss of ball/rectal control for the third time this season?  I'm already salivating at the thought of it.

LAST MEETING

Remember last year? Of course you do. Why would I bring it up? Because I feed off your misery.

UNC PREVIOUS OPPONENTS

A loss to South Carolina? Acceptable.

Blowout to Middle Tennessee State? Hey, we've had our share.

Georgia Tech? ACC games are always difficult.

ECU?!?! They're not as bad as you think they are, but that's horrible for the folks who dwell in the Carolina's and deal with the rivalry on a daily basis.

And Virginia Tech? You let Logan Thomas get the best of you. We've been there: it's repulsive and you end up hating yourself. The best thing you can do is chew off your arm coyote ugly style (careful, don't wake up Frank) and make haste toward your brisk Sunday walk of shame. WE'VE BEEN THERE. In all seriousness, the Hokie defense is pretty good. We'll worry about that on a later date.

There you have it. StatMilk accompanied by the molestation of Beamer ball. While the numbers provide insight, the game itself will be a horse of a different color. Thursday is approaching rapidly and it's almost time to batten down the hatches. Remember that stats are your friend (let's be honest, probably your only friend). We here at SOTU wish only the best to you and yours and we'll be waiting for you in the game thread, because we don't get to go home anymore.