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So we caught up with the guys from Streaking the Lawn and asked the following (sorry for the late publication).
SOTU: So....what's the general consensus on your head guy Mike London? Whips our ass every year, but UVa has devolved into a dumpster for the rest of the ACC this year. How hot is the seat?
STL: London isn't going anywhere. There have been private assurances made that he'll be back for at least the 2014 season. This is not good news to many of us among the fan base who have grown tired of bonehead calls (see: Ga Tech game before halftime) and a general lack of ingenuity on offense (see: sticking with David Watford for this long). While London isn't going to be fired, I think the consensus is that offensive coordinator Steve Fairchild HAS to go.
SOTU:. 2-1 after wins over BYU and VMI, then disaster. Why? (Miami has 5 letters instead of 3, so we've got that going for us, which is nice).
STL: The biggest mystery of the entire college football season may be how in the hell UVa beat BYU that first week. We have two wins. One of them was luck, one of them was against a team that is a doormat even in the FCS. We don't capitalize on other teams mistakes, we make too many of our own. We have a "mobile" QB who doesn't know how to read on read-option plays, or isn't allowed to, but either way whenever he keeps it he's scared of contact. We have an offensive line that thinks standing up and absorbing the defensive player counts as run-blocking. We've been marred by injuries on defense, turning an experienced secondary into rookie-laden Swiss cheese. And dear lord our special teams. I think that about sums it up?
SOTU: Miami couldn't stop a sneeze on defense right now, especially on the ground. Our d-line has disappeared. Can UVa exploit this?
STL: Maybe? We have good running backs. Kevin Parks is a smash mouth coordinator's dream. He's short but stocky and runs HARD. Khalek Shepherd is a great straightaway speed guy around the edge, and Taquan Mizzell has shown flashes of his five-star rating at times. But the offensive line is very suspect. If we can get holes up the middle, or blockers in space and attack the edges, the backs have the talent to make some things happen.
SOTU: Please tell me your quarterback David Watford cannot run. He cannot run. Cannot. If he can, gulp. Tell us about Mr. Watford, strengths and weaknesses.
STL: He can. But he won't do it well. He has invariably opted for the one-yard gain and scoot out of bounds instead of picking up the extra two or three and exposing himself for a hit. Best example of this: 4th and 2, he rolls out and dives…for the line of scrimmage. Aside from his feet, he has a really strong arm but not the best accuracy. Deep balls are usually in the same zip code as the WR, but not always. Watford has been the most textbook case in the "do we suck because of play calling or execution?" debate. You can tell there's a ton of talent there. I just don't think his head is right anymore.
SOTU: If UVa wins Saturday, it will be because __________________. Prediction?
STL: It will be because the frogs and locusts have come, the waters have turned to blood and the skies are raining fire? That's about the confidence level of the average UVa fan now. But if we have a chance, it's because safety Anthony Harris has a big day and turns over the Canes offense, the run game gets established, we hit Jake McGee for a couple scores and a WR deep off some play-action. Don't worry though: if the game is close, London will find a way to blow it. Thankfully it won't be close. I think the 20-point line for the Canes is about right. 42-21 Miami, and only after some UVa garbage time TDs.
We'd wish them good luck, but Miami needs this game like really bad!! Thanks to the guys over at STL for working with us.