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Club D'Onofrio is Dropping Defensive Beats

Miami Hurricanes DC Mark D'Onofrio responds to all the haters drinking Haterade for the past two years.

By Canadian Molasses Runner

As some of you Canes fans already know, much maligned defensive coordinator Mark D'Onofrio moved up into the booth this year to call plays. A lot of arguing has gone on inside the Hurricane fandom, debating who was really at fault with the historically horrendous 2012 defense; the players, or the man calling the plays?

What we didn't know until last week against FAU, was Coach D'Onofrio spent this offseason honing his skill set, leading to this past Saturday's (relatively) epic showing from his defense against Florida.

YALL THOUGHT MY ASS SUCKED HUH?? YALL SAID SHIP ME OUTTA TOWN?? WELL GUESS WHAT?? TAKE A LOOK AT THIS SON-

Florida Drive Summaries
START QTR POSS. YARD PLAYS YARDS RESULT
15:00 1 04:50 FLA 24 8 32 Fumble
07:24 1 01:57 FLA 17 5 12 Punt
04:23 1 00:40 FLA 10 2 9 Rushing Touchdown
01:47 1 02:43 FLA 35 7 54 Interception
12:32 2 05:10 FLA 28 11 56 Turnover on Downs
06:53 2 06:16 FLA 23 12 66 Fumble
13:22 3 04:42 FLA 41 9 44 Field Goal Good
06:58 3 02:38 FLA 35 3 8 Punt
02:11 3 01:22 FLA 40 3 6 Punt
14:21 4 02:28 FLA 20 5 18 Punt
09:30 4 02:49 FLA 47 5 30 Interception
05:28 4 00:56 FLA 14 3 -10 Fumble
03:29 4 01:21 FLA 40 4 60 Passing Touchdown
00:28 4 00:28 FLA 20 1 -13 End of Half

HOW YA LIKE ME NOW FOOLS!!!

LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED RAWGHT!!!!!! DROPPA BEAT!!!

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FORCED FUMBLE ON THE FIRST DRIVE...FAILED TWO POINT CONVERSION...INTERCEPTION IN THE RED ZONE...DROPPA BEAT!!!

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OUTGAINED IN YARDS 123-2 IN 2ND QUARTER...11 MINUTES T.O.P...ONLY 3 POINTS ALLOWED...DROPPA BEAT!!!

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YO YO YO VAN WINKLE!!! MY FAVE DIY BOY!!!

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...DROPPA BEAT!!!

YO YO YO SEBASTIAN!!!

...DROPPA BEAT!!!

DJ RED ZONE TURNOVER...DJ BEND DONT BREAK

413 TOTAL YARDS MY ASS!!! HOW BOUT DAT 38 MINUTES TEE OH PEE!!! THATS TIME A POZESHUN FOR ALL YALL OUT THERE DONT KNOW MY LINGO!!! 1 FOR 11 ON 3RD DOWNS?? LITTLE HELP THERE COLE DAWG??? NAW, QUE EVER DAWG, I GOT YO BACK.....DROPPA BEAT!!!

"Was your success because Florida has a ridiculously terrible offense that consisted of 5 plays?"


"And what about the scoring drive late in the 4th quarter that nearly cost your team the game? Did that remind you of the struggles of last year in any way?"

WHO JUST SAID THAT?? LAST FLORIDA SCORING DRIVE WAS VINTAGE 2012???...WHO MADE THAT REMARK? WHICH ONE OF YOU CONDESCENDING MEDIA DOUCHEBAGS REMARKED THAT?? I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING...I WAS TAKING THE ELEVATOR DOWN TO THE SIDELINES FOR THE VICTORY SHOWER...PFFT WHATEVER BRO. I AINT GOTTA PUT UP WITH DIS SHIZZ. IM OUTTIE. YO YO YO DJ RONNIE SEIKS!!!

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via ronyseikaly.com

...DROPPA BEAT!!!

HEY YALL MFERS!!! HOWS MY ASS TASTE!! AINT NO (D)ONOFRIO NOW HUH!!! THE 'D' AINT SILENT NO MO DAWGS!!! GOT MY BIG "D" BACK!!!

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