:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/2274883/2z7hkrc.0.jpg)
Eschewing the traditional preview, we here at the State of The U are bringing you all the (mostly meaningless) things one needs to know prior to this week's match-up. The only rule? No game predictions. Today gives us the Thanksgiving Turkey's half-retarded uncle from the backwater mountains of Virginia, still figuring out ways to steal from Big Natural Gas during the upcoming fracking projects, the Hokies!
¿Quien?
Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University
2012: 4-4 (2-2 in ACC)
Last Meeting: VT won 38-35 in 2011
Virginia Tech and specifically Frank Beamer's ongoing battle with gout have been the thorn in Miami's side for going on two decades. Outside of the last true time Miami was MIAMI back in the 2005 game in Blacksburg, VT has brought everything to this rivalry game.
It's hard to fathom, as Beamer somehow manages to lose two games early every season and then run roughshod over the entire ACC (seriously, he trademarked it and everything), but VT has won 10 or more games for the last 8 seasons. To be fair, about half of those early losses are due to difficult and respectable scheduling. This is the first time in two decades that VT has had a truly bad season.
Miami's record on Thursday night games is an astounding 15-3. If they can manage to beat VT, the Coastal is there for the taking. VT plays Florida State next week, most likely a loss, which would give them 4 conference losses and the tie-breaker in UM's favor. If Miami loses, they are left hoping VT drops one against Boston College or Virginia (after the aforementioned FSU loss), so yeah, lets win this game guys.
¿Donde?
Blacksburg, Virginia
Once, I drove down a two lane freeway in the mountains with a unbelievably picturesque view of a 200 foot drop right off the shoulder and saw the sign saying Blacksburg and therefore Virginia Tech was somewhere to be found in dees dar parts. Once.
¿Cuando?
7:31 PM EDT - and yes, that's the actual start time, straight from the university. This here site has gone BONA FIDE.
TV: ESPN
Radio: 560 WQAM (Local), Caracol 1260 AM (Spanish), 90.5 FM W VEEEEEEE UM (Student), Sirius XM85 (Satellite)
¿Colors?
Chicago Maroon and Burnt Orange. It never fails to entertain me the naming of specific colors. And contrary to popular joking belief, a Hokie has nothing to do with a turkey. It was actually coined in a contest to create a new school spirit yell when the university changed their name from Virginia Agricultural and Mechanical College to Virginia Polytechnic Institute. Sheeesh. Those guys in the 1800s didn't get out much.
Serious question to all at Gobbler Country - how much in royalties is paid to Lars Ulrich for "Enter Sandman?" The guy hasn't been known to be cheap when it comes to using their music.
¿Stadium?
Sun Life Stadium
Miami Gardens, Florida
It's 37 degrees and snowing in Blacksburg right now as I type this. Lets all be happy Miami doesn't have to add to their horrendous cold weather record.
¿Food and Nightlife?
At this point in the season, all hope is not lost, but it's getting close. Enough restaurant recs, it's time to drink.
The interior here has a little bit of a Big Lebowski dream sequence decor going on, which is definitely a good thing. Miami Beach's version of club scene mixed with a dive bar = loud as hell fun times. The bartenders breasts are all plastic, and fully on display. Public use stripper pole in the back, but sorry ladies, demand is high on the beach, so you'll have to wait in line to get your three minutes or one song, whichever ends first.
This place is a smoke-filled bastion of sadness, where the patrons will not give you the courtesy of snorting their coke in the bathroom. Why waste this perfectly decent wooden bar?
¿Last Minute Ticket Grab?
Florida State and Thursday Nighters are the two best crowds you can get in Miami, and they are back to back this season. From $15 all the way up to the ahole who still thinks, on a week to week basis, some fool will give him $1000 for a ticket to a half empty stadium.
¿All-Time Record?
Miami leads 17-12. Outside of the gift from college football gods known as the Glennon family, the Hokies have owned this series as of late. Miami vs VT under Beamer is just 9-12.
¿Impact Players?
Based on last year, I thought Logan Thomas was going to potentially have an All American season, leading the Hokies to an outside shot at the BCS title game. Whoooo boy. Not so much this year. But come on, the guy was 23 of 25 for 310 yards and 3 TDS, with 2 rushing TDs as well in last year's game. Those are playing the CPU on Freshman level in NCAA type numbers. Or in realistic terms, going up against the 2012 Miami Hurricanes defense!
Other notables are J.C. Coleman out of the backfield with a 6.0 yards per carry, and senior receivers Marcus Davis, Corey Fuller, and Dyrell Roberts. On the defensive side of the ball, eight starters returned from a top 10 national D, so big things were expected for 2012. James Gayle and Kyle Fuller were All-ACC last year, Bruce Taylor was back from injury, but Bud Foster's crew just hasn't been able to stay consistent throughout the season. A blowout loss to North Carolina is followed by shutting down Duke. They've had a week off after being killed by Clemson, so that might not bode well for Miami's struggling offense this week.
¿You Tube Clip of Glory?
Earlier in the year, I tried to take the positive approach to these clips, but it's just too damn easy to walk into Trollsville, set up a picnic, and stay for the afternoon. Today is a combo - the highlights from the 2000 Sugar Bowl with VT in the title game, but the soundtrack to the clip is Creed. BeamerBall Nation, never stop being you.
Nah, who am I kidding. The Ron Zacapa rum has been broken out at the picnic, I'm multiple swigs in, and when jokes write themselves, I just can't help myself. Here's a clip from the only national championship that Virginia Tech has ever won....in Bass Fishing.